An Update and then Some

It's been about a week and a half since my post about limiting my Facebook access. I figure it would be healthy to review the past 12 days.

The friend who I mentioned at the beginning who deleted her facebook kept her account deactivated for about four or five days. Her motivation for removing the facebook toxin was the same as mine: getting information from people (specifically an ex) who she did not want information about. Seeing someone on Facebook is, as probably ridiculous as it sounds, just like seeing them in real life. After all, if it's not on Facebook, it's probably not true, right (facebook official relationships, for example)?

For the three or four days, she was much happier. And, she was able to focus all of her energy on school work and being productive. She found other websites that she liked, as well.

By the fifth day, she was able to rid herself of the negative energy that Facebook was brining into her life. She reactivated the account and has used it sparingly. Although now it is getting back to the point where she'll be Facebooking instead of homeworking.

I had not deactivated my account, but since that post my Facebook usage has dropped very significantly. I actually blame it a little bit on the new layout...it does not give the user nearly as much information as the old layout(s) did and it does not update quickly enough (because it if did that would be great for me, obviously). So, because there's really nothing to see, I'll scroll around quickly, and close it. If someone wrote on my wall or I received a friend request, I would go on. The most impressive thing, for me at least, was going almost two weeks without checking profiles of people I shouldn't check.

I wouldn't say my life has been made any easier by my decreased facebook usage. I guess I can't say how it would have been different had I been using facebook as much, but I'm sure that reining in my facebook usage and practicing "everything in moderation" can only have a positive effect. Last night I had a relapse and checked a certain someone's profile. It wasn't a big deal, nothing was on there that would have made me particularly upset. However, it was as it we saw each other in real life. And like I said, that's not good right now.

In a conversation with a brilliant Cornell pre-med student, we talked (rather, we texted) about how everything is connected. In science, he told/texted me, everything is related. I agreed with him, but I questioned as to why it was so interesting...why do you want to know the secrets of the universe?

Networks are our everything. From time immemorial the connectedness of people, societies, cultures, living things, nonliving things, countries, businesses, the world, the solar system, the universe, is all about networks. Networks, essentially, are God.

Why do we want to figure out God? If we answer all of our questions about Him, would we not guarentee our demise? Is it not better to leave such questions unanswered? Yes, we've found solstice in the name of God, but we've also fought wars, built countries, and seen terrorism and hate in His name. In the name of Networks, we've given up our privacy, our elusiveness, our personal bubble is gone because anyone in the world with an Airport or a Cat5 ethernet cord can plug right into you and download your soul.

Why do we want to figure out networks? People thrive on answering questions. The unknown is one of the greatest attractions for humans. But it is also unknown for a reason. The more we known, the more dangerous we become. And if we do get to the heart of the matter: God, or Networks, that will be dangerous.

Facebook, and social networking as a whole, has evolved into a God-like complex. It grants us too much information, and sheds light on the unknown. There is a point where we are better off staying where we are, because if we "move forward" will only take us to the end.

Okay, so apparently this turned a simple update into an admittedly weird diatribe against Facebook. Take it as a bit of a metaphor and not a direct attack on Mark and Co. The last half is more about (online social) networking in general than about Facebook in particular. But, I'm trying to make the point that new media in the form of networking (while it can be amazing, I know) is also juggernauting down a path we might not like to go down...

You Did What?

So I get a text message from my friend. "deleted my facebook"



WTFYOUDIDWHAT?!

I kind of freaked out a little, and of course had to check to make sure she was telling the truth.

I really didn't get it at first. I'm always a little bit shocked when people tell me they don't have Facebook or AIM or are never online. It's so the norm that someone who isn't an avid user of (all of) these social technologies better have a damn good excuse as to why they are being so rebellious. It's like the new version of the sixties counterculture is making yourself unavailable to modern communication technology.

Or is it?

My friend got rid of her Facebook account because "it doesn't let me avoid people." So true. The problem with our technology is not that it allows us such easy access to one another...it's that it allows us too much easy access to one another.

Sure there are some pretty good privacy options. But what about when you need a break? What about when you don't want to see someone you are no longer friends with? Defriending is a social taboo; taking such drastic action is just being immature. But logging on is basically being forced to encounter updates and wall posts and pictures and lifestreams of a person who makes you throw up a little in your mouth every time you see them is just not okay for me.

The fact is, it is so hard for us to turn off the access to this goldmine of information. There is so much information-- so easily accessible--we really don't even have to do that much to get to it. It doesn't involve anything sneaky (although Facebook stalking is certainly an art form) and it doesn't involve anything that should make you feel guilty. But it does. It's added stress, and sometimes the costs of such valuable and relied-upon technologies are not outweighed by their benefits.

I'm thinking about giving up my Facebook. I couldn't do it though. When I want an outlet, it is there (although I should probably be more tactful in posting status updates.) While some of the best advice I have ever gotten is to "cut out the fat" -- i.e. just get rid of the things in your life that are causing you problems, it is so difficult. I can't stop checking Facebook. It's just too easy. I'm just too used to it. Hell, it sounds like I'm trying to get myself off cigarettes. It's ridiculous. But I don't know what to do. Should I get rid of my Facebook? Would it make me a happier person? I wonder...

As it turns out, this seemingly extreme action of removing oneself from the Facebook world is more common than I thought. And many people share my sentiments about the website that we all once lusted for in high school (because that was when Facebook was only for college students). It would be good for me to focus more on real life...not the Facebook real life, but the real real life. Going outside. Getting to know myself. Spend time on things that are more important, like studying rather than figuring out who my ex is now getting with. Facebook is self-mutilating, and it needs to stop.

"I deleted my Facebook"

"YOU DID WHAT?!" "I'm so proud of you!"


Image from Facebook



[Addendum]
Because my laptop+browser+Blogger do not get along, I can't post comments. I wanted to post this in response to the people who left me comments below:

"These comments are all great. thanks a lot!

Vinal: good point about "hide" functions of facebook. I think I've taken advantage of it once. I feel like it's a big of a cop-out, just like defriending someone is, but I don't know. I think with the new layout and engine behind it, facebook will give you more of the people go you looking for and less of the people you don't. So maybe it knows....

and the balance between new media life and real life is becoming increasingly blurred. So much so I'd argue that for some people, they are almost mutually inclusive. This is probably not a great thing.

Allison: I agree with everything you said. But yes, we always end up going back. I guess it's not a bad thing, so long as we've learned how to control ourselves haha. Thanks for the luck :)"

JUDGED!

The Internet is filled with good websites, bad websites, and ugly websites.

While we mostly deal with good, or at least bearable websites, the digital abyss is fraught with those-site-that-shall-not-be-named. They have pop-ups, incredibly long load times, broken links, things that look like links but aren't, things that should be links but aren't, bad page design, bad grammar (ok, I forgive them for that one...sort of), poor implementation of flash or other fancy code, or maybe they are just completely useless. The list of annoyances could go one for a solid blog post or more.

So, before I highlight what my quintessential bad website it, let me first explain an ideal website:

I will admit, I love Google (I'm not linking to it because that might insult you).
It's simple, intuitive, and acts as a true portal to the internet, which is something any good site does effectively. In terms of content, architecture, and design, one cannot beat "The Google." This might be a shocking choice from someone with lots of web experience such as myself, but I feel like the old mantra of 'keep it simple, stupid' reigns here. Websites, even advanced sites, need to be natural and intuitive--something that is such a challenge for anyone that works with the Web that you can go to grad school and get a masters in it.

Google is a search engine. It searches. Very well, in fact. It also does other stuff, and you don't even need to ask it. Want directions, type an address. Want to do math, type an equation. Need a conversation, it does that, too. All from the search box. And, on top of the practically countless other services Google offers (to be honest I don't even know half of the services that Google offers people). Google has enough money and enough brain power to be the best. More power to it.

So, not much can compare to Google in terms of site functionality--at least while on the site. I'd argue that a service like StumbleUpon is most worthwhile when you are not on the homepage. But, there are certainly sites that fare far less than even the worst of Google's creations (yes. Google has failed.)

The very worst site, all things considered, in my time as a Web user, is...drum-roll please...

Your MySpace page.

Now, MySpace as a site and as a service has come a long way in recent months (if only because FaceBook has forced it to keep up), and currently it is a lot more user friendly with a modern user interface (UI) for building sites than it used to be. Nevertheless, whether you be some 17 year old girl, a band, a brand, an executive--I'm sorry but your MySpace leaves something to be desired.

Yes, there are the occasionally well-designed pages using flash and CSS, which totally rework the traditional MySpace layout and allow advanced users to basically create their own website from scratch. But excluding those rarities, the typical MySpace pages, while providing some information, really don't scratch the surface of being useful--except when it comes to me previewing a band's music.

Too often, pages (even professional ones) take for-ev-er to load. The music player is faulty. Something you coded in the page is making my browser hang (thanks). You made the mouse icon different, there are falling stars as the background, or I can't read the text or see the links because every color is clashing. Possibly more important is that fact that on your page, you either 1. give me way too much information about you or 2. not enough information about you. And those surveys...I'm not even going to say anything.

Here's a brief update. I was going to take a screen shot of Tom Anderson's MySpace (he's the creator of the site). And I realized, this isn't that bad--this really shows us someone's personality. I then realized that for the vast majority of people, using MySpace to showcase one's personality would be like me painting a picture to showcase mine. It is a bit of a dull example, but my personality painting would look godawful and probably give you an even worse impression of myself.

Alas, I have a MySpace. But in my defense I use it to connect with bands and do "research" because MySpace is the most popular site on the Internet. But that's all. I think FaceBook and LinkedIn are more professional, higher quality, easier, safer, more user friendly, more feature-full, and generally better websites. Those sites provide information that I want and that I need in a clear and standard fashion.

While individual customization is key in creating for new media, it can't get out of control like it does with MySpace. It's always a hassle when I have to go to a MySpace page, and I dread doing it. Too bad Google's social networking site never caught on...